I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
