You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
