HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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