I wanna passion pit in your ass
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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