do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
