i think my mom watched the whole time
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
did you just send me my own nude
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
