i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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