apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
