Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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