No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
