called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
