Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
