Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
