You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
