I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You made out with two different species that night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
