There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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