That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
