they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize