It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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