i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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