The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
