You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
