Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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