His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
