Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
