ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
