my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
