I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Michael Bay diarrhea
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
