Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
