Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
