sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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