ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
