she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
