Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
