ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
