I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
