left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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