I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my poor anus
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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