keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
