She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize