but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just invented taco cereal.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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