You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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