so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
