we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
