words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
