she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
