Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
