Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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