I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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