i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
