I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nicole vs. Life
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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