So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
