she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
