How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wanna go halves on a baby?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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