...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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