bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Two words: nipple clamps
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