I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
