There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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