i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
